That Darn Emmett
by Daddy's Little Cannibal
Summary: Bella and Emmett are stuck in the police station because Emmett came with the bright idea of getting Bella drunk at a bar. Short series! NOT AN EMMETT AND BELLA LOVE STORY! Very funny Rated for language
1. Bella

**A/N:** I'm hoping this story will get a positive reaction. I came up with it when I was noticing that I was writing a lot of stories about Emmett getting Bella to do stupid things. I actually told myself I wouldn't write another story like this. That lasted a whole two minutes. I came up with the idea of Emmett getting Bella drunk, but I didn't want it to be like _Toke it Up_ or _Sex Education with Emmett _so I came up with this. :D I'm really freaking proud this. It's a short series, about five chapters.

**Summary:** Bella and Emmett are stuck in the police station because Emmett came with the bright idea of getting Bella drunk at a bar. Short series! NOT AN EMMETT AND BELLA LOVE STORY! Very funny

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**That Darn Emmett**

I was going to kill Emmett. I sat next to him in the police station; my hands were crossed over my chest. I glared at him through the corner of my eye. Charlie was going to kill me. Edward was going to kill me. In fact I'm pretty sure even Esme' and Carlisle were going to kill me. And when they got done killing me, I was going to come back to life and kill Emmett.

I woke up this morning, thinking that I was going to have to suffer another day of Emmett making fun of me and then go on with my life. But no, he got me a fake ID and decided to take me to a bar in Seattle, because he thought that it was his right as my future brother-in-law to get me drunk for the first time. I couldn't understand why he couldn't have just bought a six pack and sat at his house and watch me drink. No, we had to drive to Seattle and get me drunk at a bar.

Needless to say, I got drunk pretty quick and some weird men try to take advantage of that. Emmett being the big bad vampire he is, got into a bar fight over me. I would have helped, but I was too busy puking up my guts on the pool table. The police came, took our names and ages, realizing that we were under age, they hauled us to police station. Well tried, I was still throwing up on the pool table, and it didn't help that there weren't any seatbelts in the backseat of the cruiser. Let's just say that the policemen that took us here weren't going to be using the cruiser for awhile, and Emmett lost his favorite sneakers.

My head was pounding and my throat was dry. I was still nauseous but it was getting better. I turned to Emmett; he was leaning back against the chair, a grin spread across his face. "You're going to be in so much trouble when Charlie gets here." He laughed.

I groaned. We hadn't been able to call our parents yet but I was dreading that phone call. I thought about just having Emmett call Carlisle and have Carlisle keep this on the DL from Charlie.

"Do you think Alice has seen this yet?" I asked, keeping my voice low. Something about police stations, made me feel like I should keep my voice just barely above a whisper. Or it could be that my pounding headache made me want to avoid all loud noises.

Emmett shrugged. "There's nothing much she could do about it anyways. What are the cops going to think if they see a seventeen year old girl barge in demanding that we be released? They'll think she's crazy and we'll be in a lot more trouble than we were in the beginning."

"Alright you two." A police officer walked up to us. He was old and clearly had more than one too many donuts under his belt. "The charges for the assault have been drop but the bar tender is charging you," he pointed to me, "for public intoxication, destruction of personal property," I think he was referring to the pool table that I ruined, "and illegal consumption of alcohol."

I groaned and bowed my head. I was never going to drink, ever, again. And I was going to make sure that as soon as I was a vampire, I was going to throw Emmett through a wall. I looked at him; I inwardly smiled to myself as I thought of Emmett flying through a wall.

"Alright, you each get one phone call." He pointed to the phone.

Emmett got up first. I stared at him as he quickly dialed the number. My first guess was that he was calling Carlisle, boy I was wrong. I listened the one sided conversation intensely.

"Hi Rose." Emmett's voice sounded overly cheerful.

He was quiet as Rose said something, his face dropped.

"She told you?" He asked.

His face continued to drop.

"Baby, it's not what you think! She wanted it more than I did!" His voice was almost whiny; it was weird seeing Emmett act like this. "I know. Can you please come and get us…you don't have to tell him if you don't want to." He sighed loudly. "I know she will…alright. I love you." He added in the 'I love you' in a hopeful voice. I was pretty sure by the glum look on his face she hanged up on him.

I was laughing under my breath when he came to sit back down. He shot me a glare. "It's your turn now." My grin disappeared. He was right, it _was_ my turn.

I got up to the phone and started to dial Charlie's number. I thought twice about it. I was an adult now, I didn't need my daddy to come and save me. So I did the next best thing. The phone didn't even ring before a desperate voice answered.

"Bella?" Edward practically screamed. I flinched. Ouch. Emmett was laughing from the chair.

I took a deep breath. "It's me." I said in a strained voice.

"What the hell were you thinking?! Going to a bar? You're only 18! You don't belong in those things, even if you are an adult-" I threw the phone away from my ear, the last thing I wanted was someone screaming in my ear.

"Edward," I whispered when I sure he was done. I was on the verge of tears. "They're charging me with all these different things, I don't even know anymore."I was crying now. "I can't get charged with anything Edward, Charlie will kill me." I was sobbing into the phone.

Edward sighed. "Its okay, Bella. I'll be there as soon as possible."

I nodded. "I love you." I cried out to him.

"I know Bella."

"I'm sorry." I sniffed loudly, more tears falling out of my eyes. I didn't know why I was so emotional, were all people like this after they drank their weight in hard liquor?

"I know you are Bella. Be a brave girl for me until I get there, can you do that?"

I nodded than I realized Edward couldn't see me. "I'll try." I cried into the phone again.

We hanged up.

I walked over to Emmett. He was frowning at me, like every other guy in the world he didn't like it when women cried. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder in a brotherly way. "Are you okay, Bells?"

I sniffed loudly and shook my head. "No." My breaths were hyperventilating. "That was Edward, he's really angry at me. What if he doesn't want to marry me after this?" I started to cry harder as I realized that he might not love me anymore. "He didn't even say he loved me." I brought my hands to my face. Emmett awkwardly hugged me.

"It's alright, Bella. Edward loves you. He's just a little over protective. It'll be okay." He started to rub my back.

"No it won't!" I cried out burying my face into his chest.

A lady officer walked up to us, her eyebrows were scrunched together. "Is she alright?" She directed the question Emmett.

"Yeah she's alright. She's scared and sobering up." He was still rubbing my back.

I looked at the officer. "Would you marry me even if I had a criminal record?" I asked.

She looked like someone had just hit her across the face. "Um…" She hesitated.

"Bella, I'm pretty sure that gay marriage is still illegal in Washington." Emmett tried to comfort me.

I let out a desperate sob. "Now I'm talking about breaking the law. Edward will _never_ want to marry me now." I started to cry on Emmett's shoulder. He looked uncomfortable and mumbled something about Edward being braver than he looked.

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** So tell me what you think. If you like it, tell me. If you don't than tell me anyways. If I get a good amount of reviews for this story I'll update it daily! It's going to be short, about five (maybe six) chapters. The chapters are short to. It's just to cure my addiction to one-shots. The second chapter has already been written. I love it, I have every chapter outlined and it's great. I think my favorite is the third one.

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	2. Edward

**A/N:** Thanks for all the kick booty reviews! I love reading ya'll reviews! They make me smile! :D I love hearing from you guys it makes me happy inside. :D

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**That Darn Emmett**

I was going to kill Emmett. I trusted him to keep an eye on Bella, not get her arrested! I groaned to myself as I pulled into a spot in front of the police station. I ignored the parking meter as I ran (at human speed) to the front desk. I pretend to be out of breath as I asked where Bella Swan and Emmett Cullen were being held. He pointed to the side of the station; Bella was crying softly on Emmett's lap. I walked over to her frowning.

She let out a loud hiccup when she saw me. I looked at Emmett, he looked extremely uncomfortable. I gave him a 'what happened' look, he started to scream at me through his mind.

'She barfed on my shoes!' He thought at me. I noticed that he wasn't wearing any shoes. I fought the urge to laugh. Instead I kneeled down next to Bella; I grabbed her red cheeks between my hands. She leaned up and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. I hugged her back as she started to sob on my shirt. I looked at Emmett again.

'She thinks that you're going to leave her.' He thought loudly again. I hated when people think loudly. It was screaming in someone's ear. I could hear them just find without them screaming at me.

I looked back at Bella, her eyes were bright red and swollen. I kissed her forehead. "There is no way in the seven hells that I'm going to leave you. Especially for something that Emmett did." I kissed her cheek, before shooting a glare at Emmett. He was smiling to himself, proud of the fact that he got Bella drunk.

"It had to be done." He laughed.

I got off my knees, pulling away from Bella, and walked over to the front desk. I smiled at the receptionist when she looked up at me. Her breath caught in her throat and she was trying not to hyperventilate. 'Oh my goodness.' She thought to herself, blushing softly.

"Can I help you?" She finally breathed out.

"Yes, I was wandering when I take Bella Swan home…" I let my voice travel, not really making it a question.

She blushed, a series of rapid thoughts crossed through her mind. "If you would hold a second, I'll go talk to my superior."

She pushed her chair away from her desk and went through a door behind her station. I turned around to a sulking Emmett. "Don't I get a ride?" He asked.

I smiled to myself. Rose wasn't coming for him, she was too angry and she wasn't finished working on his car. I shook my head. "You're walking home." I knew that it was no problem. He would probably get home faster than if I would have driven him, but there was principle behind denying him a ride home.

He frowned. "C'mon Edward! I don't even have shoes on." Emmett complained, mostly for show.

I shrugged. "You should have thought of that before you dragged Bella to a _bar_." I hissed the word bar.

Emmett laughed. "She's a funny drunk."

An image of Bella falling off a bar stool flashed through his mind. She was laughing on the floor, I was grateful that she was wearing pants; if she was in a skirt she would have been flashing the whole bar. I didn't know why he thought that was funny or 

different from anything that Bella has done before. We've both seen her fall out of cafeteria chairs while she was sober. The fact that she fell out of a bar stool while she was drunk, just proved the point that getting drunk isn't for everyone.

The door behind the receptionist's desk opened. The receptionist blushed as she sat in her seat, she didn't look up at me. "How are you related to her?" She asked, pulling out a pen.

"I'm her fiancé." I answered on impulse.

She frowned at her paper. The thought, 'so young', ran through her mind. "Alright, Mister…" She looked up at me, waiting for me to say my last name.

"Cullen. Edward Cullen."

She blinked twice before shooting a glance at Emmett. She scrunched her eyebrows together. "Are you by any chance-"

"He's my adoptive brother." I told her, sticking to the story that Carlisle gave us.

"Are you taking him with you?" She asked, shooting another glance over at him. I followed her gaze, he was smiling at us.

I shook my head. "No. He can walk home." I smiled at him. His face dropped in mock horror.

"I'm telling Carlisle!" He jokingly threatened. I shrugged, Esme' and Carlisle weren't too happy with him at the moment so it made no difference to me.

She frowned at me. "It's raining outside. And he's not wearing any shoes." Her mouth was opened as she eyes darted between us.

I shrugged. "He needs the exercise."

Her lips tightened but didn't say anything, though her mind was rushing around the fact that I was going to leave my own brother outside in the cold. She thought that I was joking, that I really would give him a ride. I wasn't. He was a big boy and could find his own way home.

"How much trouble is Bella in?" I asked as she continued the paperwork.

She frowned. "She's being charged with public intoxication, illegal consumption of alcohol, and destroying private property." I frowned, Bella would never intentionally destroy anything on purpose.

"What did she destroy?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing.

The receptionist looked at her paper. "She vomited on a pool table."

Emmett busted out laughing; an image of Bella leaning over the pool table ran through our heads. She was crying as her body rejected the alcohol. Another image followed that one; it was Bella sitting in the cop car next to Emmett. She was leaning against the glass, begging for them to slow down. They didn't. She turned to Emmett and was about to say something when an encore presentation of what happened earlier fell out of her mouth. I grimaced, feeling a little sick myself. Emmett was still laughing.

"Surely you can relax, this is her first offense. She didn't mean to do anything wrong." I tried to reason with her.

She sighed. "I know you're worried about your fiancé, but the tickets have already been signed and sent in. It's the court's decision now."

I frowned before looking at Bella. She seemed oblivious to this. I would make sure to keep this away from her as long as I could. I turned back to her. "Can I take her home now?" I asked.

The receptionist nodded. "Yes, just sign this." She handed me a clipboard with a piece of paper on it. I signed it quickly, ready to get Bella out of here.

Emmett helped her lean up against the back of the chair. Her hair was sticking out in odd directions and her makeup was smeared across her face. She looked like a mess. I smiled at her while she started to pat at her hair. She looked up at me.

"Can I go home now?" She asked. I nodded. She smiled at me and I helped her onto her feet. She was still sobering up, tomorrow was going to be hell for her.

Emmett followed after me, just as ready to get out of there as she was. We were about to open the front door of the police station when a cop came jogging up to us.

"By any chance are you the owner of the Volvo?" He asked. I nodded. "Sign this." He handed me a clipboard with a yellow piece of paper on it.

I signed it quickly wanting to get Bella home.

"Thanks. You can pick up your car in about three days from the pound center." The police officer told me. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. Emmett laughed.

"What?" I yelled. Bella flinched before letting out a loud groan. I pulled her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry." I whispered to her."

"Next time you decide not to put money in the parking meter, make sure it's not in front of the police station." He handed me a ticket before walking off. I groaned and pulled out my cell phone.

It didn't even ring before a bright and happy voice answered. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Alice laughed.

I closed the phone and set it back into my pocket. Bella groaned before crawling back to the chairs. "I hate you Emmett!" She screamed before throwing her hands over her head.

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** Tomorrow's chapter is my favorite. It's in Alice's POV. I'm sorry it took me awhile to post this up today. I fell asleep when I got home. I'm happy though! I don't have to go to court tomorrow, I have a week! Score on me! Check out my other stories, namely _Coffin of Love_ or _Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner_. Or any of my other one-shots. If you like Emmett you'll like most of them. I gave Emmett some pretty good lines. My favorite is "Edward also likes to play with his magic stick," (_Look Alike)_. Check them out leave love and the more reviews for this story, the more likely there will be a chapter every day.

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	3. Alice

**A/N:** So I didn't get as many reviews as I thought I would for the last chapter. And then I lost the original chapter for this story. And it's kind of short. I'm tired and kind cranky, so I'm just going to post this and go to bed. Please review, I need some encouraging reviews. New chapter up of _Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner_.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Alice**

'I get to drive my new Porsche! I get to drive my new Porsche!' I sang in my mind as I parked my beautiful yellow Porsche in front of the police station. I grabbed a handful of change from the cup holder and put them in the parking meter, not wanting to make the same mistake as Edward. I looked up at the sky; it was going to rain soon. I frowned; I hope Edward changed his mind about making Emmett walking home, though I didn't blame him.

I walked into the station and smiled at the officer behind the front desk. He blinked twice as he stared at me. "Hi." I sang at him. "Do you by any chance know where my brothers and Bella Swan are?" I asked.

He nodded and pointed to the side of the station. I glanced over before smiling back at him.

"Thanks." I said as I walked to wear he pointed.

I frowned when I saw Bella asleep on Edward's lap; she was still flushed and sweating. Edward was running his fingers through her hair, grimacing. Emmett was pouting with his hands crossed over his chest, I glanced down, just like I saw in an earlier vision, his shoes were gone. I giggled to myself. 'Go Bella.'

Edward looked up and frowned. "It's not that funny Alice."

I shrugged. "You have to admit its a little funny." Edward's frown didn't fade and Emmett continued to pout. I knelt down in front of Bella, and gently shook her. She opened her eyes groggily. "Morning sleepy head," I smiled at her.

"Alice?" She asked.

I nodded, "the one and only." I tried to keep my voice down. I've never personally had a hangover but from what I've seen off of movies, it doesn't look fun.

Edward helped her up and looked at me. "Which car did you bring?" He asked.

"The Porsche," I smiled as I sang my new song in my head again.

I got to my feet and grabbed onto Bella's moist hands. I helped her up to her feet. She stumbled a little before straightening out. I shot a glare at Emmett. He was laughing under his breath. I rolled my eyes before leading the way out of the station. I was pretty sure everyone was about ready to get home.

"Did you put money in the parking meter?" Emmett asked, glancing at grin at Edward. Edward growled at him.

I smiled and turned to him. "Yup, we have plenty of time. Unlike Edward, I like to obey the law." I stuck my tongue out at him. We were about to walk out of the station when a police officer came up to us.

"Excuse me," she directed it to Bella. Bella looked up, she was wearing Edward's jacket. The hood was over her head.

"Yes?" she asked, her voice was low.

"You're Isabella Swan aren't you?" She held out her hand when Bella nodded. Bella grabbed it. "I'm a friend of your father, Charlie Swan." She smiled. "He's told me a lot about you. I just didn't expect to meet you…" She hesitated with the word. "Under these circumstances."

I shot a look at Emmett, he didn't look phased. I sighed, "Stupid hippie."

Edward smiled at me before smiling at the officer, her breath caught in her throat. "I'm sorry you have to meet her like this." He moved his hand against her cheek. Bella just nodded, ready to get out of here.

The officer nodded. "Where's Chief Swan?" She looked around us.

"Charlie's at home. He agreed to let us take Bella home, since we have to take Emmett home to." I shot a glare at Emmett as I spoke. He smiled at me.

The officer frowned. "Oh, what a shame, I was hoping to see him again." She smiled again at Bella. "You'll tell him I said hi, won't you Bella?" She asked.

Bella nodded. "Sure." Her voice was still low. "No problem. It was nice to meet you…" She trailed off.

"Officer Wright." She shook Bella's hand again before nodding to the rest of us.

"Looks like Charlie got a girlfriend." Emmett joked from behind Bella.

Bella looked up at him. "Don't say that, you're going to make me sick again."

I smiled at her. She was so cute when she said things like that. Edward opened the door for her and I followed after them. It was already raining when we got outside, when I noticed that something was missing. My mouth dropped.

"It's gone." I nearly screamed. The Porsche, my beautiful yellow Porsche was gone. Why didn't I see this? Why didn't Edward hear this? I looked at him.

"I wasn't paying attention." He frowned at me.

"I only got to drive it once." I complained I fought the urge to fall to my knees. "Only once."

Emmett started laughing. "This effing sucks." It was a bitter moment for us.

Bella groaned into Edward's chest, I could smell the fresh tears mix with the rain. "I just want to go home." She moaned out. Edward wrapped his arms around her and laid his cheek on her head.

"I know you do, love." He started to rub her back.

I grimaced as I turned around, I was soaking wet by now. The rest of them followed after me. The officer behind the desk looked up at me confused, blinking twice. "Can I help you?" He asked.

I nodded. "I'd like to report an auto theft…"

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** Next chapter is Jasper. This chapter isn't as good as the original. The original was off the chain, but my stupid computer misplaced it and now I can't find it. I've searched for it and all this other stuff, stupid computer. Anyways, new poll up! It's asking about my one-shots. I would love to know which one is your favorite. :) New update tomorrow, I hope.


	4. Jasper

**A/N:** In the words of one of my favorite singers, "Don't tell me not to reference my songs within in my songs." Of course I don't write music, but I do write fan fics, so don't tell me not reference my fan fics within my fan fics. :) This was actually the hardest chapter to write and it's not surprising. I love Jasper but I don't know his character very well, but I hope I did a good job.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Jasper**

I parked the car next to a parking meter. It was still raining. I opened the door and threw my hood over my head. I glanced at the parking meter. it had twenty minutes left in it. I decided to put a couple of more quarters in for safety. I started to walk towards a police station when I leaf landed on my shoulder. I glanced up and smiled at the tree branch hanging above my car. I smiled at the branch before shaking my head. There's an old wise tell that if a leaf falls on you that the next person you see is your true love or something cute like that. I already had my true love. I smiled to myself as I thought of the small pixie vampire that saved my existence.

I walked the rest of the way to the police station and opened the glass door. The officer behind the front desk glanced up at me and blinked. I smiled at him and was about to ask where he was holding Alice and the rest of them when he pointed to the side of the station. I glanced over and frowned, it was the most pathetic sight I've ever seen. They were vampires for goodness sake.

Emmett was shoeless, pouting. Alice was talking to a car dealership (how she found one at three o'clock in the morning I don't know), and Edward was glaring at Emmett through the corner of his eye.

Then I saw her, Bella, she was laid across Edward's lap. Her eyes were closed and her face was twisted like she was in pain. I've never seen such a face on her, especially not when she was with Edward. She had her hand across her stomach. Edward glanced up at me, I frowned at him. It didn't take my extra sense to know that he didn't like that she was in pain.

Alice got up, closing her phone, and walked towards me. I held out my hands and hugged her, she was frowning. I held her head. "I'm sorry." I whispered. She nodded.

"I only got to drive it once." She whispered. I frowned, her sorrow wrapping around me. I hated when people were sad but I hated when Alice was sad more. I smiled down at her. "I'll make sure Emmett buys you a new one."

Emmett shot a glare at me. "I already have to pay to get Edward's car out of the pound and now I have to buy the pixie a new Porsche!" He yelled at me. Bella flinched. Edward shot him a glare, letting out a low growl.

"Emmett you've done enough to poor Bella, why did you have to take her drinking?" I asked, changing the subject, as Alice pulled away from me.

Emmett looked at me in horror. "What have I done to her?"

Alice let out a snort. "What about when you made her listen to you give her the sex talk?" She asked walking over to Bella to help her get up.

"And the time that you got her high…" I added as Edward and Alice pulled her to her feet.

Emmett didn't move. "What about when we had to pick her and him," he pointed to Edward and Bella, "at Wal-Mart because they decided to have a food fight in the middle of aisle?"

"That was different." Edward stated coolly, his hand resting on Bella's cheek. "We didn't break any important laws and we paid for it later."

Emmett pouted before getting to his feet. I glanced down noticing that he didn't have any shoes. Edward laughing softly, not wanting to hurt Bella, by laughing too hard. He smiled at me. "Bella threw up on his shoes."

I chuckled. "I knew I liked that girl."

Bella looked up at me, her eyes were blood shot. "Hey Jasper." She whispered softly.

"How are you doing Bella?" I asked, Edward moved a lose strand of her hair away from her face.

"I hate Emmett." She whispered before walking with Edward. I smiled at her retreating form, glancing at Emmett.

He shrugged. "She'll thank me later."

I shook my head and followed after them. A mother and her daughter walked through the door of the police station. I frowned; it was almost three o'clock in the morning. Shouldn't she be in bed? Alice frowned at me before glancing back at the little girl. The little girl looked up at us; her thumb was in her mouth. I'm pretty sure that if her mom wasn't holding her other hand that it would be close to the other hand to.

The girl's eyes widened when she saw Edward, whose hand was still wrapped around Bella. "Mommy! It's Cedric! He's alive!"

Emmett and I busted out laughing, Bella flinched against Edward. The girl broke free of her mom's restraint and ran towards Edward, wrapping her tiny hands around his waist. Alice let out a small awe. Edward stared down at the tiny form before shooting a glance at us. It wasn't often that humans, especially their off springs, give us hugs. Needless to say, Edward was slightly uncomfortable.

The mother of the girl eyes widened as she stomped to the little girl. She looked apologetically at Edward. "I'm sorry; she has a wild imagination sometimes. She gets it from her father." She grabbed one of the little girl's arms and yanked it away from Edward. The little girl shook her head, and gripped tightly to Edward's shirt.

"No!" She screamed loudly, pulling her arm away from her mom. She rubbed her nose in Edward's stomach. Edward tightened and looked at Alice and me for help. I tried not to laugh.

Bella pulled away from Edward and knelt down in front of the little girl. "Cedric needs to go back to Hogwarts sweetheart. He's going to help Harry defeat lord Voldemort. You don't want to take him away from that do you?" She asked, grabbing the girl's arm. I smiled at Bella; she would've made a good mother one day.

The little girl looked up at Bella and stuck out her tongue before burying her nose into "Cedric" again. "You're not Cho!" She screamed. "What happened to Cho?"

Bella was taken back. I looked up at Edward he was frowning. I looked at the mother of the daughter. She sighed before wrapping her arms around her daughter's waist. Edward made an involuntary jerk and his eyes widened. He glanced around hoping no one saw it, Emmett was trying not to laugh, Alice was just a shock as he was, and I was on the same boat as Emmett.

The mother finally pulled her screaming and kicking daughter away from Edward and carried her back to the front desk. Edward shook his head and grabbed onto Bella. If he was human he would have probably been red by now. "She did it on purpose," he whispered into Bella's hair. "I could hear her thoughts." He continued.

Everyone, besides Edward and Bella, let out a strangled laugh. He held onto Bella as we walked out of the police station. A loud crackle of thunder ran through the street. Bella jumped and Edward's grip tightened around her. That's when it happen, not two seconds after the thunder attacked out ears, a lightning bolt hit the tree branch above my car, breaking the branch, and thus having the said branch fall onto my car.

We stood there in shock. No one said anything. We just turned around walked into the building, our heads down in horror. Edward and Bella were the last ones to walk into the building.

"Cedric!" The little girl from before screamed before running to Edward, forcefully pushing Bella aside. "I knew you would come back for me!"

**End Chapter**

**A/N:** The next chapter is the last and is in Rose's POV. I freaking love this chapter. It kicks Alice's chapter out of the water. God, this chapter was so funny. :) I love it. I don't care if you think it's funny or not, I did that's all that matters. I also made some references to my other stories (_Syrup Anyone_, _Toke it Up_, and _Sex Education with Emmett_) check them out if you're interested. Also post your vote in my poll! Vote for the best one shot from me. And expect an update of _Cigarette Burns_ from me later tonight. **Maybe** _Coffin of Love _to. NO promises. Anyways review, I love ya'll reaction to the last chapter and I'm hoping for an even better reaction this chapter.

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	5. Rosalie

**A/N:** I swear I'm Dr. Phil for fanfiction. I should change that to my new screen name. Daddy's Little Cannibal AKA Dr. Phil. I love when people message me asking me for advice or just talking to me about things. It makes my day. I just felt like I would add that because I'm totally awesome like that. If you have a problem, send it to me. I'll be Dr. Cannibal. :D

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Rosalie**

I glanced at myself in the rear view mirror. I was working on Emmett's jeep when I got the second phone call from Jasper telling me about what happened. Needless to say I was aggravated. I was already finished with the jeep when I got it but I didn't have time to change. I frowned at myself as I rubbed my cheek again. I was fixing an oil leak and it accidently leaked onto me. I had to admit it did give me that grungy dirty type of hot look. That _was_ the new crazed now.

I sighed as I stepped out of the car. I parked across from the police station. I paid the parking meter and locked the door. The storm was lightening up, which I couldn't have been more grateful for. Moisture always made my hair frizzy. I walked up the steps to the station and opened the front door. I glanced at the officer behind the desk. His mouth dropped open. I rolled my eyes, it was moments like this that I wished I had Edward's ability to read minds, not to know how hot they think I look, but to know quickly the information I needed to know. It got aggravating to listen to their mindless drabble when I just wanted a simple answer.

"Excuse I'm looking for-" I didn't have time to finish. He pointed to the side of the station. I smiled in satisfaction. Thank goodness for small miracles.

I walked the short distance to the side of the station and frowned. Emmett was sitting hovering over Edward's shoulder, he wasn't wearing any shoes. I was about to ask why, but a loud coughing caught my attention, Bella was coughing into the trash can that already had a good amount of digested food in it. I felt my stomach lurched as the smell attacked my nose. Edward frowned at her as he held her hair back.

I glanced at Alice; she was rubbing Bella's back lovingly. I finally glanced at Jasper, he seemed just as concern. I continued to frown; my whole family was worried about this one pathetic human girl. Admittedly my husband is the reason that she's vomiting her stomach out but it doesn't change my amazement my family has with this human.

Edward glanced at me his face was filled with anger; he'd obviously heard my thoughts. I held up my hands in defense. 'I'm not here to cause a scene. I promise.' I thought loudly. His expression didn't change.

I knelt down in front of Bella. She looked up at me a string of saliva was falling from her bottom lip. I scrunched up my nose in disgust. She wiped it away and her eyes widened. "I'm sorry." She whispered at me.

I frowned. She's sorry? I should be the one that is sorry or really Emmett should be the one that was sorry. I looked up at Emmett, he smiled apologetically at me. I frowned at him and scrunched my eyebrows.

Bella pulled herself further away from the trash can. Edward and Alice helped her up. She wiped her mouth, her face was still flushed and her hair was a mess.

"I'm fine." She whispered again. "I think I got everything out." She smiled at Edward. He frowned at her and moved a strand of hair from her face. I continued to frown. I kind of felt sorry for Bella.

I love Emmett. He's my rock and life. He makes my worst nightmares seem like forgotten dreams. He's my prince charming. But I'd be damned (which according to Edward we all are) if he wasn't one of the most stupid vampires I've ever met. It's not that he's stupid intellectuality, no he's extremely smart, but he doesn't think things through. He lives on the spur of the moment, how else he could have been attacked by a bear. Do you want to know what really happen that day? He was trying to impress me so he went into a hibernating bear's cave and played a version of poke the bear and run. Too bad the bear was faster than he was.

"Which car did you bring?" Alice asked, helping Bella up to her feet.

"The jeep," I said glancing at Emmett. His face lit up.

"You fixed it?" He asked.

I nodded. "I spent all night on it."

He smiled before giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Rose."

My anger slowly disappeared. This is one of the reasons that I loved Emmett, Jasper was good at controlling people's emotions but Emmett didn't have to have that extra ability to make me happy. He just had to be by me.

Bella took a deep breath before walking beside Edward to the Jeep. I could tell that they were ready to get out of here. Edward kept a close grip on her. I let them walk in front of me. I trailed behind with Emmett at my side. He wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Why do you pick on her so much Emmett?" I asked.

He smiled. "Besides the fact that she makes me laugh more than anyone ever should, she's innocent and it's genuine innocence. She grew up fast and sometimes I worry that she's missing the fun parts of life. And I know that Edward won't let her do anything that might be considered dangerous or immoral, so that's where I step in. When she is turned into a vampire, there are a lot of mistakes that she won't be able to make, so I'm letting her make them now. Besides she's hysterical when she's drunk."

I smiled back at Emmett and hugged him. "Sometimes you're too smart for your own good." I whispered to him.

"Now just try to convince the rest of them that." He smiled back at me.

We walked to the car; it was still in once piece. It wasn't being tolled, it hadn't been stolen, a tree branch hadn't fallen on it, and it wasn't stuck at some sleazy bar. The ride to the house was smooth and almost too quiet. Everyone was lost in their own little world. I was pretty sure that Emmett's world had its own soundtrack to it, because every now and then he would whispered something under his breath that sounded like words to a song.

I dropped Bella at her house. Charlie was waiting on the front porch, a frantic look on his face. I turned to the vampires in the back seat. "Ok, who forgot to tell Charlie?"

**End.**

**A/N:** This chapter wasn't funny. Sorry about that. I was trying to make it funny but I kind of wanted to keep it serious, since Rosalie is such a serious person. I wanted a genuine look into her character. And a small glimpse into Emmett's. I'm thinking about doing a one-shot in Emmett's POV. I like there being more to Emmett than his goofiness. Just like Rosalie. I love that Rosalie is a mechanic. I think that's the greatest thing Stephenie Meyer ever mentioned in her series. Also I got her new book, _The Host_, I read the first chapter and I'm hoping to read more later. But at the moment, I'm stuck trying to finish another chapter of _Coffin of Love_ and a new sex driven story. You better read it. :P Tomorrow I have a ten page research paper due. Excitement.

Daddy's Little Cannibal


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